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story Courtland
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Steve Uhraney Playing poker is all about hiding the heart-pounding gush of adrenaline when you think you have good cards and a chance to win the pot. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pile of nickels on the table or a pile of thousand dollar casino chips. You can’t ever let the other players know you are excited. You have to maintain an appearance of indifference and be unpredictable. They pretend not to be watching, but why do you think some of the pros on TV wear sunglasses? Not only are the eyes the windows to the soul, they can also be exploding fireworks from a floundering ship on a moonless night surrounded by an armada of rapacious pirates…and believe me, they don’t want your cargo of breadfruit trees. With a pair of “pocket rockets” down and a third ace in the flop, you may have the biological version of multiple hydrogen bombs exploding in your chest, but try to remain calm. Try to think of something really boring...like a novel by one of the Bronte sisters. You have to stay smart and frosty to win. Most players are at a disadvantage. It is estimated that 80% of players (or more) lose their money playing poker. Even the government tends to regard gambling as a “losing proposition.” That’s why they hold their own lotteries instead of going after Saturday night social games or arresting people for gambling. As long no one collects "a rake,” there’s nothing too terrible about playing games. A “rake” refers to a percentage of winnings taken by the host. Even if it’s just to help pay for soft drinks or any other expenses, it’s the piece of the action that is illegal. The notion of luck, however, is absolutely fine. In fact, it doesn’t really play that big a part in poker when it comes right down to it. Legend has it, Annette Obrestad won a small tournament in 2007 without ever looking at her cards. She said it was far more important to pay attention to other players at the table. Later that year, she went on to win the WSOPE (World Series of Poker Europe) Main Event and a million pounds sterling (approximately Cdn$2 million). She wasn’t allowed to play in Las Vegas at the time, because the gaming laws in Nevada state players must be at least 21 years of age. She was only 19 then. LEGENDS: There are lots of legends. Chris Ferguson spent 13 years as a PhD candidate in computer science at UCLA until he won the 2000 WSOP Main Event championship. After that, he helped develop the software they use at Full Tilt Poker. Some other poker heroes include Jamie Gold, who beat almost 9,000 players and took the $12 million dollar prize last year. That’s more than they pay for winning tournaments in tennis, golf or horse racing all combined. For every legend like Annette, Chris and Jamie, however, there are thousands of people who never win. The movies are full of gambling stories. California Split is perhaps one of the most realistic, but The Sting, The Cincinnati Kid and Maverick (one of the worst) all romanticize poker. As one of the greatest games ever invented, the rules are pretty simple. STRATEGY: The most important part of the game is the betting strategy. Which poker hand wins is simple: A royal flush beats everything. That’s the 10, Jack, Queen, King, Ace of one suit. It’s almost impossible to get. That’s why it wins. A straight flush is next. Five cards must be sequential and all in one suit. The third best hand is four-of-a-kind. The fourth best is what they call a full house. It’s a combination of three cards of the same rank (such as three queens) and two other cards of the same rank (such as two eights). After that, is the flush (any five cards in the same suit) followed by a straight (any five cards in sequential order regardless of suit). Those are all great hands, but they’re as common as Fabergé Imperial Eggs. The real meat and potatoes are three-of-a-kind, two pair (two cards the same combined with two other cards the same) or one pair. This is where the “playing” begins and the “luck” stops mattering. Once the game starts, you have four options: You can check, fold, call or raise. OPTIONS: If you “check,” you might be considered a spineless wuss, but it all depends on what kind of table you’re at. Some skilled or dangerous players might allow others to be aggressive and raise the pot, but checking is basically how you stay in the game without betting. If you “fold,” you are surrendering and giving up on a hand. Never show your “pocket cards” (hidden ones) to anyone. That could be an unfair advantage to anyone who might be waiting for one of them. Your “folded” cards go into a pile called the “muck.” They do not get used again until the next round or deal. Of course, you might find out later you actually mucked the winning hand. Try not to yell or cry or let anyone know how incredibly dumb you were. They might use that against you later. Every overt, emotional outburst or display tends to undermine your credibility. It is far better to appear to be the cool and calculating predator instead of the helpless victim who screams like a little girl. If you “call,” you are telling everyone you are matching the amount of the last bet. Every player who is still playing must call the last bet before the hand progresses. If someone raises or doubles the pot after you call, however, you look weak. If you have a winning hand, maybe you shouldn’t be calling. Maybe you should have raised. Maybe you should just go to the kitchen and make a ham and cheese sandwich and spend the rest of the night looking for the mustard. If you “raise,” it means you are forcing the other players to keep up with you. The amount of the raise actually depends on the established betting structure. There may be limits. In a “hold’em” game there could be a fixed amount on a particular level. For example, if flop bets are fixed at $10, you can only raise $10. Each player can raise $10, so by the time it gets back to you it could be $30 or $40 or more. If you want to raise again, it’s called “re-raising.” There is usually a limit (most likely three times) on the number of raises. On the strategy side, it’s all about being unpredictable. If the other players figure out how you think or what you might do, you may as well empty your pockets before you start. On the other hand, if it’s just a friendly game, have fun and don’t worry about losing your money. Think of it as going out to a fine restaurant and getting a huge bill, but without getting any food or having any service. If you are playing with scatterbrained knuckleheads who just check and call all night and then end up winning some hands with cheap, poison cards (low numerical value), don’t let it bother you. Compliment them. Keep them happy. Make sure they have a good time. You will be going home with their money in your pocket when the night is over. The most popular poker game right now is Texas Hold’em. That’s the one you see all the time on television. Each player is dealt two cards face down. After that, five “community cards” get turned over by the dealer. The first level is called “the flop.” Three cards are turned over all at the same time. After that, two more cards are placed on the table one at a time. They're called “the turn” and the last card is called “ the river.” You can check or bet on each level. It's a variation on the standard game of five cards. In a game with community cards, all the players at the table get to combine the cards everyone can see with their pocket (hidden) cards to make the best hand. This is the same game played today in the WSOP (World Series of Poker). The WSOP began in 1970 with just six players, but as of 2011 there are more than 70,000 entrants who compete for over $180 million in prize money. It’s broadcast on ESPN and will take place this year between May 31 and July 19 in Las Vegas. ONLINE: Of course, the most notorious games of all are online. Full Tilt Poker is available in 22 languages with their pros playing 1,600 hours every week. On a Saturday afternoon in February there were 116,000 players on line at 34,000 tables in 4,790 tournaments. As with most online games, you have to download their software to play, but that’s how they maintain security and game integrity. As Full Tilt says, “All information is protected by the most advanced encryption technology and automated systems are in place to monitor game play and ensure all aspects of our games are conducted in the best interest of our players.” according to their web site. They are also happy to teach you the game. They offer lessons and chat sessions as well as games. There are other sites including pokerstars.net, bodog.com, 888poker.com, titanpoker.com and many, many more. It is an enormous industry with a cheerful face (and a dark basement where some say billions of dollars are buried). In almost all of the US states, there is nothing illegal about online poker even though the federal government passed a bill called “Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act” back in 2004. Up until now no Internet poker case has ever gone to trial. The trouble is, if one ever does, the feds better win, because if they don’t the whole industry will be more out of control than ever. At least, that’s what the alarmists are saying. At this point, it is still considered unregulated and untaxed. In France, online poker is legal and has the government’s blessing, because they collect taxes. That sounds like a rake, but because it's a national government, that makes it OK. Meanwhile, it is possible for just about anyone to play high stakes games where pots can get up to six figures. Supposedly, there are professional players who have made seven-figure bankrolls playing online. In Ontario, we have casinos in Brantford, Orillia, Port Perry, Port Edward, Niagara Falls (2), Windsor, Sault St. Marie, and Gananoque. Most of them are open 24/7. Some close at 4:00 a.m.—that’s so you can get some sleep before getting up and going to work at your day job. For addresses and more information you can check out www.pokereh.com/poker-rooms/ontario.html If you want to hold your own party, contact www.torontocasinodealer.com They provide everything you need including dealers and equipment and can help you organize your event. They supplied the tables and crew and all you see here in our pictures photographed at a local party in Port Credit. Special thanks to Lisa and Paul Reed for providing the shoot location. GL |
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